In this crazy coronavirus period, we have all had to make adjustments to our lives, which may have lead us to confusion, demotivation and disempowerment. This page offers some tips to defog this cloud and help you to find peace and clarity.

Sometimes we feel as though we have become disconnected from our true sense of being, leaving us feeling lost and in a state of numbness, frustration, negativity or hopelessness. However there are ways that we can learn to love life again by connecting to ourselves through introspection, creativity and relaxation.

In order to empower ourselves we must look within, figure out what is making us feel disconnected, and what we want to achieve. I believe there are 3 core feelings of disempowerment- burnout, lack of motivation and negativity. If you are feeling lost, it is important to pause, and ask yourself how you feel. Click the box that you relate to most.

1. I feel burnt out from a busy schedule and feel as though my mind and body haven’t had the time to stop and take a break.

2. I feel as though I have little motivation to do anything and have been lazy, unproductive or lacking organisation recently.

3. I hold negative thoughts in my mind and have a feeling of fogginess, anxiety or sadness about life events and relationships.

If you feel burnt out…

Consider taking some serious down time. Spend as much time as you need to relax your body and mind, switch off from the world, and calm your thoughts. Try a few of the following ideas to fill out your day with relaxation to rejuvenate your life!

• Take the day off work and let your family know that you are taking a day to rejuvenate your energies. Emotional and psychological wellness is just as important as physical, so spend this time off as you would if you were off-sick from work or school.

• Take 3 deep breaths in and out. Say to yourself: ‘I am going to have a day of relaxation and comfort. By the end of today I will feel energised and ready for what the world has to offer me tomorrow! But today, I rest.’

• Turn off your phone or delete social media apps to switch off from the outside world.

• Watch easy watching and uplifting movies (my personal faves are chick flicks, comedies and movies from my childhood)

• If your eyes need a break from looking at computers or phones, try a podcast.

• Eat comfort food and don’t feel guilty about it (but try not to over-indulge as this may make you feel worse!)

• Say no to chores, to-do lists and any work that needs doing.

• Run yourself a bath with your best bath bombs, bubbles and salts. Light some candles and incense, play some relaxing music and pretend you’re at the spa or the beach.

• Or go full-out and have an at-home spa day! Use your favourite scrubs and moisturisers, make a home-made face mask and leave-in conditioner, soak your feet in some warm water, do your nails, and whatever else makes you feel like you are in a pamper haven.

• Sit with a cup of tea or hot chocolate and enjoy every sip of its warmth. Or pour yourself something a little stronger (but try not to give yourself a hangover tomorrow!)

• Make a phone call to a loved one and have a nice catch up. This can be so much more uplifting and fulfilling than liking their picture on instagram and commenting on their photo.

• Find a book that you have already read and loved it so much that you couldn’t put down. Re-read it and enjoy the ease and nostalgia it brings.

• Get some fresh air- either open a window, stand outside your house for 5 minutes or go for a walk (if its cold just bundle on the layers!)

• If you have the energy, take a walk outside, go for a leisurely paced bike ride, do some simple stretches, practice an easy-going yoga routine or do any other form of physical activity you feel up to.

• Do a creative activity that you find easy and stress-free such as journalling, drawing or colouring.

• Find music to suit every mood to make those everyday things more enjoyable.
  – music to dance around to in the kitchen as you cook and clean.
  – a playlist to get you hyped for going OUT OUT when lockdown is finally over (but for now just the one-man party in your bedroom).
  – a list of chillout tracks to have on in the tub and getting ready for bed.
  – music to help you focus on your work (try music with no lyrics).
  – some jayamz to walk from A to B that fill you with confidence.
  – some feel good high tempo stuff for your workout.
  Finding new music regularly is so refreshing and can help you feel inspired, empowered and energised. I recommend finding at least one new song a day or a bunch of new songs a week to keep that high energy flowing.

If you feel unproductive…

Step 1 – What are your goals?

First of all, ask yourself what it is that you are trying to achieve. Sometimes we feel as though we are not being productive but don’t actually know what our end goals are.

Write a list of the goals that you are trying to do. If it is just one big goal, divide it up into smaller and more attainable goals that you can achieve daily and weekly.

For example, if you are writing an essay, the end goal would be to finish the essay. However, the weekly goal could be to finish a chapter and the daily goal could be anything from making notes an article, ordering your bibliography or writing a small paragraph.

By making smaller and more achievable goals, we remain focussed on what we need to do and stay motivated by feeling accomplished by the little achievements we’ve made.

If you don’t quite know what you’re trying to achieve, have a think! You can set goals in all aspects of your life…

• I want to be able to run a marathon
• … cook a new meal every day
• … learn how to sew
• … finish this report
• … meditate daily
• … play the guitar
• … write an amazing dissertation on a topic that I’m passionate about
• … drive a car
• … pass my exams
• … paint the entire house
• … get a new job

Use this time that we have to figure out what is important to you and what you want to do with your time.

Step 2 – Figure out why you have felt unproductive

Do you simply not want to do it at the moment?

Often the things that need to be done are not the first things we want to be doing with our lives. However to make progress in our life, education and work these things have to be done.

• Remind yourself why you are doing this and how is it going to help you in the future.
• Think of all the things that this will allow you to do and what it will teach you.
• Think of the accomplishment you will feel once you have done it and have made something you are proud of.
• Try to make it as fun as possible:
  – fuel yourself with your favourite food and drink.
  – listen to music you can vibe with.
  – use funky colours and pictures wherever possible.
  – reward yourself with something every time you achieve a goal.
• Write down all the reasons why you want to do it and stick it on a wall.

Are you trying to tackle too many things at once?

Take a step back and consider if juggling so many things at once is spreading your energy too thin. Sometimes it is better to focus your energy on one thing at a time so you can do something properly.

• Consider attempting to spread out or organise your schedule so that you have enough time to sit down and get something done.
• Try saying no to unnecessary things that take up time you could be using productively.

Are you being distracted by things such as thoughts in your head, the TV series you can’t stop binging or the notifications on your phone?

Realise what’s distracting you.
If it is your phone…

• Tell your mates that you’re switching off for a few hours to get your head down.
• Delete the most distracting apps. You can always reinstall them when you’ve finished what you’ve wanted to do.
• Or you can leave your phone in another room, using your laptop for music and the internet.

If it is the rambling thoughts in your head…

• Take 5 or 10 minutes to do either a guided meditation or some breathing exercises before you do your work. Try to clear your head.
• Write a list of things that you need to do so you can have that to reference if you get lost in your thoughts.
• Try listening to music that doesn’t have lyrics so you aren’t distracted and sent into a thought loop. Anything from liquid dnb, jazz, yoga playlists, to lofi hip hop. Spend a bit of time finding the right thing for you that really helps you focus. OR try some silence!
• Look for a calmer environment with less distractions and clutter that you you can work peacefully in.

If its something so much more fun than doing your work…

• Prioritise your work and set this fun thing as a reward for ticking off some of your goals
• Set a time in the day that you can do this fun thing, but separate it from your work. (E.g. do your work in the morning and play video games in the afternoon).

Are you putting something off and doing other less important things first?

• Realise that the thing that you need to do most is probably going to help you grow and succeed. If it is a goal of yours and you want to do it, JUST DO IT!
• Understand that the goal or work needs to get done at some point, so do it now rather than later. You will feel like a weight has lifted off your shoulders when it is done and so proud of yourself!
• If you are doing the less important things because they are easier, why not do them after you’ve done the hardest thing? They will seem so much less difficult!
• Try and figure out why you are putting it off. Do you need to ask for help? Are you unsure of how to go about the task? Do you not have the right equipment, environment or motivation?

Do you feel too tired, sluggish or just can’t be bothered to do it?

Step 3 – Make a plan

1.Write out a work plan- what you need to do and how you are going to do it.

2.Figure out what working pattern is best for you:

• If you feel most awake in the afternoon start doing your work then and do your other daily activities during the morning.
• If you feel most alert in the morning after a coffee and usually get an afternoon slump after lunch, plan the bulk of your work for the morning.
• If you’re a night owl and feel most alive in the evening, try get your work done then.

3. Stick to your plan, ask your family and friends to help motivate you if you need it. Believe in yourself and tell yourself you are achieving it everyday.

4. Reward yourself with breaks and fun activities when you have accomplished something.

5. Keep growing and loving yourself everyday.

Top tips for productivity

1. Start your day right
   – Make sure you give yourself enough sleep so you can wake up feeling refreshed and ready to go (try listening to a sleep meditation before bed if you struggle to sleep)
   – Open the curtains and make your bed first thing in the morning & try not to spend too much time on your phone.
   – Guided meditations in the morning can be amazing to clear your mind and set an intention and purpose for your day.
   – Energise yourself with a breakfast, a workout or a coffee!
   – Make a to-do list of things you want to get done today (either do this before you start your work or do tomorrow’s list when you finish up for the day)
2. Remove distractions
   – I am a firm believer in tidy space = tidy mind! Either do some tidying, or find a space away from all the clutter and mess! Try and make your work space a nice place to be by making it smell good and having natural light.
   – Make sure you aren’t distracted by your phone by leaving it in another room, turning off your notifications or deleting some apps.
3. Drink water
   – Drink 6-8 glasses/1.2 litres a day to stay hydrated and energised.
   – Keep a water bottle with you during the day and fill it up regularly.
   – if you don’t like the taste of water, try drinking squash or putting in some lemon and cucumber to freshen it up!
4. Listen to music as you work.
   – Music without lyrics works best to prevent distractions.
   – Figure out whether you work best with in-ear earphones, over-head headphones or out of a speaker.
   – Find the right genre for you:
   > Upbeat music such as liquid dnb, techno, funk, disco and dance.
   > Low key sounds like jazz, classical, spa music and lofi hiphop.
   > Or if you just fancy drowning out the noise theres playlists with white noise and playlists that transport you from the rainforest, to the beach, the office and the cafe.
5. Take regular and sufficient breaks
   – Regular breaks of 5-10 minutes every hour and a longer break between 20 and 60 minutes after 3 hours can keep us feeling balanced.
   – On these breaks, move away from your work space and don’t do anything work-related.
6. Stay active
   – From doing a workout in the morning to taking a walk to the shop on a break, getting our bodies moving can increase creativity and energy levels.
7. Stay social
   – In times of social distancing, being social is so important. Try to plan your lunch break at the same time as the rest of your house or a person you can have a chat with over the phone.
8. Have a few non-work related activities that you can do when you lose your motivation
   – Try to do things such as changing your bedsheets or walking your dog when you lose your motivation. This way you can still be productive and feel accomplished in a different light.
9. Look and feel good
   – It can be super beneficial to put yourself together a little bit to get you feeling confident and motivated! Try swapping the sweats for something you’d wear in the outside world!
10. Be kind and forgiving to yourself
    – Don’t be too hard on yourself if you didn’t get as much work done as you had planned, not every day has to be super productive!
    – The most important thing is that you tried and you know that you can grow everyday. It is so much better to tune into what you need to do than to feel guilty about not ticking things off a list.
    – reward yourself for the achievements you’ve made.

If you feel sad, anxious or hold negative thoughts in your mind…

Take some time for yourself to slow down your thoughts, figure out what emotions you are feeling, what is making you feel this way, and how you want to feel. Only after this will you be able to take the steps to feeling better.

This can be done over a period of time, but if you feel it necessary, it might be worth taking the day off to reflect and and move forward.

Step 1 – Calm your mind.

• Take some deep breaths
  in… (hold for 5 seconds)… out… (hold for 3 seconds)…repeat for as many breaths as you need
• Follow a guided meditation
  If you can pinpoint your feelings, type into YouTube or Spotify: ‘meditation for anxiety/stress/depression’ etc.
• Practice mindfulness
  – notice your body as you carry out movements such as walking, wiggling your fingers or simply sitting still.
  – bring your attention to your 5 senses- what can you see/feel/hear/smell/taste?

Step 2 – Figure out what thoughts are causing what feelings.

• Try writing down what things are on your mind. Getting them down on paper often brings clarity.
• When you start to feel sad, anxious, angry, stressed or whatever feeling you feel, stop and recognise what you are thinking about.
• Realise that it is only by thinking about these things that these emotions appear. If they are unhelpful thoughts such as imagining scenarios, placing blame or thinking too many things at once, understand that you have the power to stop them and go back to step 1 to calm your mind.
• Reach out to somebody that you trust, ask for their advice and see if they can make any sense of why you are feeling this way.

Ask yourself is there something you can do about the thoughts that are making you feel this way?

• Can you say something to someone who is upsetting you?
• Can you prevent actions taking place?
• Can you do something to resolve the issue?
• Do you need to apologise or forgive?
• Do you understand the situation correctly?
• Are you twisting things in your mind to paint a different picture?

Is what’s upsetting you out of your control?

• Are you worrying yourself about something that you cannot do anything about?
• Are your thoughts unhelpful and simply causing you harm?
• Do you need to simply accept the situation for what it is and move on so you can be at peace?

Step 3 – Decide how we want to think and feel

For example…

• If you are feeling anxious, you may want to feel confident, peaceful and calm.

• If you are feeling depressed, sad or desperate, you may want to feel energised, happy, and appreciative of the good things in your life.

• If you are feeling stressed, you may want to feel relaxed and focused.

Let these visions of how you want to feel take over your mind and imagine yourself being the person who feels these things. Let this feeling consume you and fill up your whole body.

We each have the power to create our own lives and live out our dreams. We each have the capacity to do what we want. We are the only ones holding ourselves back from our desires. If you want something, GO AND GET IT.

• Create a vision board with pictures of all the things you want and words that you want to feel. Put it somewhere that you will see it regularly and soon enough you will be attracting these into your life.
• Visualise having things the way you want them and notice how it makes you feel when you have them.
• Let go of things you don’t want anymore.
• Stop complaining about things. By complaining, we only waste time by focussing on the negatives. Instead of complaining, recognise that you don’t want this situation or feeling and use that as a tool to figure out what you do want and feel confident that you can achieve it.
• Write down or say out-loud affirmations of things you want to be and feel, e.g. ‘I am confident and walk into a room of people with a smile on my face and bursting with worthy ideas.’

Inspire yourself

• Look for beauty and inspiration in all things
• Write a list of things you want to do, have and be
• Go for a mindful walk
• Watch a sunrise or sunset
• Read an inspiring book
• Watch videos on how to do things you’ve always dreamed of
• Listen to podcasts that help you have a positive mindset
• Find new music
• Watch an uplifting or spiritual movie such as ‘Eat Pray Love’ or ‘Wild’
• Look at art (try Pinterest).
• Spend some time on some self-care rituals

“There’s always a sunrise and always a sunset and it’s up to you to choose to be there for it,’ said my mother. ‘Put yourself in the way of beauty.”

Cheryl Strayed

Step 4 – Put thoughts into action.

If you have come up with solutions to your problems carry these out. Talk to the person that is upsetting you, stop doing the thing you know is causing others pain, apologise to your brother, calm your mind, forgive yourself, love yourself.

Learn acceptance

If our thoughts are about something that is out of our control, we must learn acceptance. Accept yourself and situations and let go of worries, anxieties and pain. Everything is going to be okay-you’ve made it this far through life and tackled and overcome all the obstacles that have come your way. Be proud of yourself for that, look how much you’ve changed and grown in the last 5 years. Look how much you’ve changed in a month!

Accept yourself. Tell yourself that you are worthy. Worthy of love, worthy of happiness, worthy of success, worthy of life. We all are. No matter how bad our past choices have been, we are all human and so we all make mistakes and we all have flaws. We are all here to learn and grow in joy and love.

Accept others. Accept people for who they are, just as you wish to be accepted for who you are. Learn to love people for their best bits, and not focus on their worst. The more you appreciate the good things in them, the more they will show these characteristics. Remember that relationships with the people that matter in your life are so much more important than being ‘right’ or wrong’.

Accept the past. Forgive or let go of your past mistakes and the mistakes of others that have hurt you. Holding on to things and staying angry or upset is not going to change the past or make things better. It is only creating pain for you in the present. If you learn to let go and decide to learn and move on, you will feel much better.

Accept the future. Don’t be afraid of what the future holds for you, don’t even think about it too much. The most important thing is the present moment, so focus on what you can be doing now to shape your future in the way you want it to go. Life continues to flow and throw things at us, but worrying before they happen is pointless because it hasn’t happened yet, it may not even happen and you are only hurting yourself!

“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.”

Leo F. Buscaglia

If you cannot accept, let go. If you cannot accept something and be at peace with it, take yourself away from it and change the situation. There is no point in making ourselves upset about things that we have control over. We can choose whether we think painful thoughts, or if we remove it from our minds by acting upon it.

Be grateful

Gratitude is a clear path to connection with ourselves and empowerment. When we look on the bright side of life, we realise just how lucky we are. Somebody on the other side of the world, or even down your road might look at you and think, “you are so lucky to have these wonderful things all around you, how can you not see them?!”

It is easy to get swept up into negative thoughts and disregard our blessings. However when we take a step back and realise we have a lot of things we wished we had a month ago, that our body’s are healthy, we have food to eat, somewhere safe to sleep, and the sun is warm on our faces, it can make us feel so good and attract more of these happy feelings towards us.

Learn and grow from pain and mistakes

Nobody lives a perfect life with no mistakes, injustices or hurt. Everybody experiences things that makes them step back, disrupts their lives for a while and feel disconnected from themselves.

But it is important to know that this pain can teach us something about ourselves. It can teach us how to pick ourselves up again, the lesson that doing a certain thing can lead to a certain outcome, the importance of loving ourselves, the path to forgiveness, and how to make sure others are can learn from and avoid your mistakes too.

Remember that time heals everything. Look back on something that troubled you a long time ago, see how far you’ve come, what lessons you have learned from it and how much better you feel now.

Understand that failure does not exist. ‘Failure’ is wisdom because if we learn from our pain and suffering, we can make sure we avoid mistakes, grow and succeed. Failures are never the end result, they are just the beginning.

“Life doesn’t care how hard your lessons are or if you can handle them. Life just wants you to learn and to grow, and to keep your heart wide open.”

Debra Silverman

Put things into perspective

Look into the sky to the moon and starts and then onto the floor to find something tiny and realise our place in the universe. We are big enough on this planet to make an impact- our choices matter and make a difference. But at the same time, we are on a planet circulating around a star amongst millions of others. Sometimes, when we are worried or stressed or angry it can be worth realising this. This can help us to understand that our problems and thoughts are not the end of the world, and that there is so much more to life than dwelling on a grade in an exam, a heartbreak, or losing a job.

If we accept these things and look for inspiration from the universe on how to solve these problems, we can overcome things, grow and make a positive impact. Life is magical and we are lucky to be a part of it.

Watch out your window at people walking by, understand that each person has something going on in their lives. Yes we must acknowledge our pain but in order to help one another, we must realise that we all go through tough times. We need to be supportive of one another and not self-indulge in our sorrow.

Reach out to your community

Lastly, as social beings, we must connect with other people. If we are in need of help then seek it. Do not be afraid to look for help, people want the best for one another and nobody wants to see you suffer. Remember that you are worthy of happiness. We are all connected to each other and if we rise, we rise stronger together. Look for someone you can trust- a friend, a family member, a spiritual guide, a teacher, a specialist. Sometimes just having somebody to listen to you and putting the emotions you have locked up inside you into words, can create a huge sense of relief and help you move on.

Understand that unless this person is a professional counsellor, your relationship with them should not solely become about your issues. They deserve to be asked how they are doing and if you can return the favour by offering your support in any way. Love others as you wished to be loved x